As a first responder, you’re no stranger to facing fear. You rush toward danger when others run away. But what about the internal fears that can hold you back professionally and personally? The ones that whisper you’re not good enough or that you’ll fail if you try something new?
This article is based on an episode of The Best of You podcast. Host Dr. Allison interviewed author Mary Morance to discuss her new book Underestimated: The Surprisingly Simple Shift to Quit Playing Small. Their conversation explores why fear emerges precisely when we’re about to do something meaningful, how to recognize fear’s many disguises, and practical strategies for moving forward despite our anxieties.
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Fear isn’t always the enemy—sometimes it’s a signpost. According to author Mary Morance, “Fear is not a creative guy, but he is a productive guy.” Fear prioritizes where to show up, and it typically appears right when you’re about to do something meaningful.
As a first responder, you may notice fear intensifies when:
- You’re considering applying for a promotion
- You’re thinking about speaking up about a department issue
- You’re preparing to lead a new initiative
- You’re contemplating a career advancement opportunity
When that fear appears, instead of seeing it as a stop sign, try viewing it as an invitation. The presence of fear often signals you’re on the right track toward something that truly matters.
Recognizing the Many Faces of Fear
Fear doesn’t always announce itself clearly. For first responders, it might wear different disguises:
- Perfectionism
“I can’t step up to be a FTO until I know everything perfectly.” - Procrastination
“I’ll start that certification program next quarter when things slow down.” - Self-Sabotage
“I’ll apply, but someone with more experience will probably get it anyway.” - Impostor Syndrome
“They’ll figure out I don’t belong in this leadership role.” - People-Pleasing
“I better not rock the boat by suggesting a different approach.”
Sound familiar? These are all ways fear tries to keep you playing small.
Becoming the Trusted Adult in the Room
When emergencies strike, you become the calm, trusted presence that others rely on. You know how to take control of chaotic situations and bring order. What if you could bring that same confidence to your personal growth?
In her podcast, The Best of You: Why Fear Shows Up When You’re About to Grow Up, Dr. Allison suggests a powerful reframe: “There’s a grown-up in the room who can be trusted, and that grown-up is you.”
For first responders, this means recognizing that the same person who can handle life-and-death situations can also handle personal and professional growth opportunities. You already have the capacity to lead yourself through uncertainty.
Small Shifts Lead to Big Changes
Unlike responding to an emergency, personal growth doesn’t always require dramatic action. Small, consistent steps often lead to the most sustainable change. For first responders who are accustomed to high-stakes, adrenaline-fueled work, this can actually be more challenging than taking big leaps.
Try setting small but meaningful commitments:
- Dedicating 15 minutes to study for an advancement exam
- Having one conversation about your career goals with a superior
- Practicing one new skill that’s outside your comfort zone
- Setting one healthy boundary at work or home
As you fulfill these small commitments, you prove to yourself that you can trust your own follow-through.
When Success Becomes a Powder Keg
For many first responders, the drive to prove others wrong can become toxic fuel. Maybe you entered the field because someone said you couldn’t do it. Or perhaps you push yourself to exceed expectations to show you belong.
While this determination can initially propel you forward, it eventually becomes what Mary Morance calls a “powder keg”—explosive energy that ultimately burns you out.
Success built on proving others wrong isn’t sustainable. Instead, pursue growth because it aligns with your values and purpose as a first responder. Let your achievements be guided by your desire to serve rather than to prove.
The First Step: Acknowledging Grief
Before moving forward, many first responders need to acknowledge the grief of lost time and opportunities. Perhaps you’ve spent years holding yourself back from advancement or fulfillment because of fear. Allow yourself to recognize this loss, but don’t let it define your future. Use it as motivation to make different choices starting today.
Moving Beyond Fear
As someone who regularly faces external dangers, you have unique strengths to confront internal fears. The courage you display in emergency situations can be channeled toward your personal and professional development. The next time fear shows up as you’re about to take on a new challenge, remember: its presence likely means you’re on the right track. Name the fear, acknowledge it, and move forward anyway—your community needs the full expression of your capabilities, both on and off the job.
If you found these insights valuable, consider listening to the full podcast episode featuring Mary Morance on “The Best of You” with Dr. Allison. The complete conversation goes deeper into understanding fear as a signal rather than a barrier and offers creative metaphors that will help you recognize and name the fears holding you back.